Cage extracts some beads of death while Connery restrains himself from blurting out the obvious dirty comment.

It’d be very easy to write off The Rock as just another typical Michael Bay movie. You know, over-the-top action sequences mixed with flourescent-tinted backgrounds and at some point, the silhouette of a helicopter floating slow-motion in the background. And yes, this movie does have those moments. But what separates this movie apart from the othe Bay movies is the actors. Specifically, Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage. So, I thought, what would this movie be like if previously portrayed characters of these two actors swapped places with Goodspeed (Cage) and Mason (Connery).

How about…

H.I. McDunnough (Cage) from Raising Arizona and Jim Malone (Connery) from The Untouchables – Well, H.I. would probably spend the entire movie trying to figure out a way to steal the “beads of death” and Malone would be hot on his tail, ready to beat the crap out of him if he ever got the chance. In that sense, it’d kind of be like Untouchables: A Slpastick Comedy.

Prof. Henry Jones (Connery) from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and Jack Singer (Cage) from Honeymoon in Vegas – These two might actually make a nice pairing. Jones has the smarts and Singer, well, Singer could use Jones’ smarts to maybe count cards or something. Until Sonny Corleone, er, James Caan appears… but they Indiana could come out of no where and save the day! Hey, it makes more sense than Indy 4.

Ok, the most obvious.

James Bond (Connery) and Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) from National Treasure – This would actually be an interesting pairing. Of course, Cage would be doing all the work, trying to find his way into The Rock, decoding secret scratch marks on the brickhouse walls and enigmatic messages carved in the cell bars. Meanwhile, Bond would be whispering double entendres into the ears of Vanessa Marcil. And then he’d miraculously come to the aid of a beaten-down Gates with his fancy-shmancy spy gadgets and take Ed Harris and his crew of mercanaries out. The end… until the Ghost Rider comes crashing through the wall.